Thursday, June 30, 2016

The End of Days...

We are at the end of our time in our little home. We have lived here for more than 5 years. My husband always said this would be a 5 year house for us but I saw so much farther into the future than that. I saw so many more dreams here than we actually achieved. All these years I could see our basement finished in my mind. I could see the layout of the rooms and the tile on the floor in the laundry room. I could see a bedroom for my son and a bathroom for guests. I spent many nights dreaming of finishing our attic like the rest of the little houses on our street. Like the basement I knew just what to do. 

Over the five years we have lived here I have worked so hard on our home. I have put my sweat, and blood, and soul into the walls of our house. I have painted beautiful hues to fill the rooms with lovely, ambient light. I have spent many hours restoring our historic, old growth windows. Like the basement, I didn't get as far as I wanted on the windows but I did make them better. I fixed the ones that mattered most. I have spent so much of my time working the soil here and turning our yard into a garden. I have canned the vegetables and butchered the chickens that grew too old. 

I had two of my babies in the walls of this home. They came faster than I anticipated, causing us to outgrow our 2 bedrooms sooner than we wanted. In fact when we bought the house I was already expecting our middle child, and first daughter. We didn't know it yet. Sometimes still I wonder if we would have chosen a different house had we known. Here, I have watched all three of my children learn and grow and live their lives. They have played many hours out in our garden and experienced almost all of their firsts, here in our first house. We have had to learn to do with less. We learned about that special bond that grows between a family that lives in a smaller home. We have learned how to be careful about what we buy, and careful about how we walk, as the squeaky boards can wake little people up just before dawn. 

Spokane has been like a desert to me, lonely, difficult, and spiritually challenging in ways I never imagined. For over two years we have wanted to move closer to my husbands work. Each time we tried to work it out in our heads, each time we would pray, we knew that it was not time. That was hard. We wanted to run away but knew that we shouldn't, that we financially couldn't. Then almost 5 weeks ago we received the news that was our open door. Right then and there we knew that it was time to go. It was crazy and fast and exciting. It was also strange and heartbreaking. I get so attached to the places I live. My house feels like more than just a house to me. It is like part of my family, my refuge from the storm, my art to live by. 

I am looking forward to the adventures a head of my family. I am excited to feel freedom again. I will have another garden someday just as beautiful as the one I built here. I know that I will bring beauty to where ever I call home. Most of all I am looking forward to being near my husband for 2 more hours each day. I am looking forward to doing fun things with my kids because we will be able to take the car. I am so grateful for this time I had to live in "an old house." I have loved old houses ever since I was a very young child and this house gave me the opportunity to live my dream.