Gardens Goodbye

The sun is hot and bright. Everything is orange and yellow and green. We didn't plant much this year as we knew we were going to sell the house. I can tell it is not feeling my love as I have had to detach to move on.  We did just eat the peaches off of our tree for the first time. They were good and soft and sweet. Now we are convinced that next time we will plant 5 trees. The kids have grown so much here just like our trees.

We have been dealing with squatting tenants in a house we have tried so hard to move into. In the end we could have gotten it if the attorneys office hadn't botched the job of delivering the ticket to the Sheriffs department. We have had to move on and find something new but we are sad as it is very expensive. After weeks of not having somewhere secure to move into it feels relieving but now I have to mentally move out of our first choice and mentally move into what we are going to get. All this time I tried to comfort myself by saying that the squatting situation saved us a thousand dollars as we didn't have to pay mortgage and rent for the month of July. Now with having to move into something different we will have to pay thousands of dollars more. So much for silver linings.

I am however excited for the new yard. It is large, private and already has a ton of flowers. The owner said we could garden and pretty much do whatever we wanted to make it our home. That was good as I don't want to hate the place I live. I have been thinking of all the ways our new place will be good.

Its been an emotional few weeks and my brain is fried. I have so much to do and I have to really rally up my will to get it done. I am ready to move on and start over. I am ready to find our new rhythm and have a simpler life as I won't have so much to care for being renters and all. I am feeling more at piece with leaving behind my beautiful house and working toward my families long term goals. I am working on a new motto of "I never worry." It seems that no matter what life will throw you a curve ball. Its best to just take it as it comes.

Birtthda'y Boy Bash

My big boy turned 7. I can't believe how big he is. He is smart and funny and filled with a wild silliness that he often can't control. Even though we are moving he still had a magical day. He wanted to have a party so I kept it low key and just invited friends to the lake that we have been frequenting. I brought punch and cupcakes. It was windy and a little cold but the water was warm. Later we went out for pizza and then had presents and cake and ice cream as a family.

He wanted a remote control police car, and a tadpole for his birthday. He is such a sweet boy. He is wild and opinionated. He likes to be involved and he has an aptitude for drumming. He is helping me out more and more and I am delighting in the fact that he can lift my load by doing work for me when I need it. We love him and I hope he has a wonderful year.

Summer in the City

We have been in a state of limbo as we are bearing down on our closing date and so far have not seen the inside of the house we have lined up to rent. The tenants were supposed to be out by the end of June but they decided to squat in the house and now we are waiting for their court date for eviction. We are hoping they will leave before it comes to that though. Because of all of this its been hard to pack to move because we don't know when we are moving. This has left me feeling lost and bored as I am not sure what to do with myself in the daytime. We are about 60 percent packed and I can't work on a projects like I normally would as most things I need are harder to get to now. Every day I ask my husband to stalk the rental house to see if there has been any change.  I have been rendering lard and canning bone broth in an effort to clean out our freezer so I can defrost it. Still these types of kitchen jobs don't leave me feeling very productive or prepared.

We have been having a good time lately hanging out with friends. I feel sad as for so long it seemed that I had a hard time making friends here but now that we are preparing to leave I realize that there are a lot of people that I care about and that I want to stay connected too. I have this bucket list hanging on the fridge that I call our Summer curriculum. On it are things like, catch a tadpole, roll down a grassy hill, cook smores, or take a walk in the dark and look at the stars. We have been ticking things off in a consistent sort of way and it makes me feel like I at least have something to focus on.

I combed my littlest girls hair and for some reason it would stay up in a goofy way. She liked it and called it her unicorn hair. The toys are limited these days as most are packed into the garage. I should start taking notes of the things they ask for to keep tabs on what we really use and need. I am nervous we are not going to have enough furniture in our rental house.  At the same time also nervous we will loose the skills we have learned from our small house. how to be mostly minimalist, keeping only what we love or need. I have concerned visions in my head of rooms overflowing with toys as we won't feel so pressured to purge due to lack of space.

I am glad that it is summer though, as summer is easy to be in limbo. I don't feel guilty for falling off the wagon of my expectations for rhythm and routine. The freedom to wake each day and take it as it comes has been nice. I have been enjoying feeling like I can decide to do fun things last minute. I don't know why I didn't feel that way before but something about selling this house has helped me to let go.