We have been in a state of limbo as we are bearing down on our closing date and so far have not seen the inside of the house we have lined up to rent. The tenants were supposed to be out by the end of June but they decided to squat in the house and now we are waiting for their court date for eviction. We are hoping they will leave before it comes to that though. Because of all of this its been hard to pack to move because we don't know when we are moving. This has left me feeling lost and bored as I am not sure what to do with myself in the daytime. We are about 60 percent packed and I can't work on a projects like I normally would as most things I need are harder to get to now. Every day I ask my husband to stalk the rental house to see if there has been any change. I have been rendering lard and canning bone broth in an effort to clean out our freezer so I can defrost it. Still these types of kitchen jobs don't leave me feeling very productive or prepared.
We have been having a good time lately hanging out with friends. I feel sad as for so long it seemed that I had a hard time making friends here but now that we are preparing to leave I realize that there are a lot of people that I care about and that I want to stay connected too. I have this bucket list hanging on the fridge that I call our Summer curriculum. On it are things like, catch a tadpole, roll down a grassy hill, cook smores, or take a walk in the dark and look at the stars. We have been ticking things off in a consistent sort of way and it makes me feel like I at least have something to focus on.
I combed my littlest girls hair and for some reason it would stay up in a goofy way. She liked it and called it her unicorn hair. The toys are limited these days as most are packed into the garage. I should start taking notes of the things they ask for to keep tabs on what we really use and need. I am nervous we are not going to have enough furniture in our rental house. At the same time also nervous we will loose the skills we have learned from our small house. how to be mostly minimalist, keeping only what we love or need. I have concerned visions in my head of rooms overflowing with toys as we won't feel so pressured to purge due to lack of space.
I am glad that it is summer though, as summer is easy to be in limbo. I don't feel guilty for falling off the wagon of my expectations for rhythm and routine. The freedom to wake each day and take it as it comes has been nice. I have been enjoying feeling like I can decide to do fun things last minute. I don't know why I didn't feel that way before but something about selling this house has helped me to let go.